What is a "real mum"

So lately Iv been so angry at things Iv seen or comments Iv heard about being a "real mum" or a "good mum" or a "perfect mum" 

I'm sorry but what does this mean? 

• One person said a "real mum" is one who doesn't wear makeup and actually looks like a mum, not like these "fake mums" who put makeup on everyday. The "real mum" spends that extra ten minutes a day that the "fake mum" misses out on because she's putting makeup on, making memory's with their children.

To me the ten minutes a day I use to put on makeup is actually one of the funniest parts of my day as a mum, Logan sits and grabs everything I pick up and puts it on his head, then he'll sit on my lap and we'll play peek a boo in the mirror as I'm trying to powder my face. He tries numerous times to eat my foundation sponge and ends up jumping on my back like a loony to see himself in the mirror. 

That ten minutes I spend a day putting on my makeup make me feel  like I can face the world, I can bare to pop out if i need to and I don't have to stay in the house because I look ugly. Some mums aren't just mums but they are humans that have confidence issues and are constantly being labelled. Does the "real mum" get labelled a tramp because she goes out looking a mess because she didn't want to spend ten minutes making an effort? No. So does this give her the right to call mums who want to make an effort "fake mums"? 

In life I know some mums that are gorgeous and their makeup is always on point. They are also amazing mums, they have so much fun with their babies and they don't have to feel conscious people are judging them because they look fab, their makeup is beautiful and most importantly they have an amazing smile because of the fun they're having which makes their "fake mum" makeup looks even more pretty!!! 

• Another fellow mum thinks being a "good mum" is not having the tv on when the kids are about. 

Before I had Logan I said constantly, "I'll never have the tv on, he's not watching kids shows, he's not having an iPad (which omg I stand by!!!!) but now he's here reality is much different. You need the tv sometimes, wether it be for background noise, which it mainly is now, or to occupy them whilst you do a wee (which doesn't happen now he just follows me!) but when Logan couldn't move you put peppa pig on and he would be happy long enough for me to do a wee! Last night Luke and Logan say and watched some peppa before bed. It was the first time Logan's really sat still with him and watched tv, this made Luke so happy to have special time with Logan, if the tv wasn't on Logan would be moving about winging because he was bored, so for them two this was such a good bonding activity! 

• your only a "real mum" if you breast feed. 

This one gets me in fits of laughter. The lengths mums will go to just to make bottle feeding mums feel bad about their choice. You see breast feeding mums groups at baby Centers, or online. One mum I know breast fed then her baby wasn't putting weight on so she had to bottle feed, she didn't want to, but the breast feeding "club" she went to then kicked her out! 

Some mums bottle feed by choice, good on them! Some bottle feed because they have to. If they want to share feeding duties, if they want to be able to sleep without a baby on their boob, if their nipples are too small for the baby to latch on to, if they have cancer, blood disorders, heart problem. 

Should these women be judged? When you see a mum in Asda putting a bottle in her babies mouth do you judge her? Do you know her story? Do you know if she has an illness? Or do you know that maybe she's adopted that baby or maybe she's just doing what's best for that baby 

Are the baby's being fed?! Surely fed is best??? 

Yes breast feeding is amazing! And when I see a mum breast feeding I'm mentally clapping my hands saying bravo! Well done! Go you! But at the same time is she judging me? Probably!! Does she know my story? No! 

Bottle feeders don't judge breast feeders so we expect the same! 

• "real mums" cook fresh organic salt and sugar free food 

I aim to cook Logan fresh food every day. Is it organic? No. Is it all sugar free or salt free? No! Is it nutritious? Yes! 

I find too many mums asking what they should be feeding their babies as people post these amazing organic expensive meals. But the truth is you need to feed them what you want to. What makes you and your baby happy. Yes frozen food isn't the ideal choice. But if I'm in a rush Logan loves waffles and frozen veg! Is it harming him? No! He's probably happy for the change. 

There's no law on what to feed your children. It's not up to other mums, it's not up to health visitors, it's up to you!!! 

"Real mums" feed their babies. That's all there is to it!